The Gospel, by its very nature, is offensive (1 Cor 1:18ff). Blood, death, sin, righteousness, holiness, salvation – it’s all so… unnecessary if we are generally good people who sometimes do bad things. But that is not the message of the Bible. To quote CS Lewis, “Fallen man is not simply an imperfect creature who needs improvement: he is a rebel who needs to lay down his arms¹.” The Gospel calls sinful humans to repentance, and to place their hope and trust in the person and work of King Jesus who atones for the sin of everyone who believes. This message, says the Apostle Paul, is the power of God for salvation (Rom 1:16). Therefore, he was unashamed to boldly proclaim it.

But even though we boldly proclaim an offensive Gospel, we ourselves need not add to the offense. That is to say, we should not become contentious as we contend for the faith (Jude 3). And even though this should seem somewhat obvious, our current cultural moment would indicate it’s anything but.

There is at present an intramural debate over how we approach those who advocate for a different worldview. On one end of the spectrum we have guys like the late Tim Keller who is often labeled as promoting “Third Wayism.” Scott Sauls, who was mentored by Keller, and formerly pastor at Christ Presbyterian in Nashville, describes this approach in his book Jesus Outside the Lines. On the other far end of the spectrum are guys like Doug Wilson, who definitely knows how to spark a controversy (pun intended).

In the cross hairs of this debate is the idea of being “winsome.” Whereas I would argue that being winsome should be the default posture for Christians, others see it as capitulation and cowardice. But, notice carefully – it should be the default posture, not the only posture. Sometimes it is appropriate to Jesus-flip some tables. But those are the exceptions and not the rule.

I think our terms are getting redefined in the course of public debate. For example, Joe Rigney has written on the sin of empathy. Well, let’s be honest here – empathy isn’t sinful. However, if our empathy devolves into affirming sin, well that’s the problem, not empathy per se. The same is true of winsomeness. It’s not a sin to be gentle and caring. Quite the contrary, gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22). But, if our gentleness leads us to passivity or the compromise of biblical truth, we’ve gone too far. But again, the issue isn’t gentleness.

I think Andy Naselli is helpful here: “Winsomeness is sinful when you shift from winning some in a God-honoring way to selfish people-pleasing. There’s a difference between loving your neighbor according to the standard of God’s word and making your neighbor feel loved. That’s a shift from the objective to the subjective—from truth to feelings. Winsomeness is sinful when you try to win the approval of certain people the wrong way².”

So, no I don’t believe winsomeness is cowardice. Cowardice is cowardice. I don’t believe empathy is a sin. Affirming sin is sin. Cowardice does not cancel the necessity for gentleness. Neither do those who affirm sin negate the need for empathy. In this cultural moment, wisdom is desperately need. To be gentle, to be winsome is good and right… when it is good and right. But let us not be afraid to protect our congregations from wolves and from ideas that are contrary to the Gospel. That would not be winsome, it would be foolish.

1. CS Lewis, Mere Christianity
2. Andy Naselli, https://americanreformer.org/2023/08/winsomeness-can-be-a-virtue-or-a-vice/